Tag: be here now

Becoming a Match to Your Soul Mate

(You can find the audio version here.)

Dear Universe, I see lovers all around me. I myself have fallen in and out of love, or what I thought was love. Where is MY soul mate? When is it my turn to meet someone that matches who I am?

You may be having these thoughts. We’ve all been there. We’ve known heartaches. We’ve had relationships fire and then fizzle out. We wonder: what am I doing wrong? Why do I keep choosing mates that I outgrow or who outgrow me?

Manifesting anything in this creative life requires a unique recipe of letting go, unlearning the past, and reclaiming the future. It sounds daunting and mystifying, doesn’t it?

But if we take it one step at a time, and begin where we are, we can create a life of fulfilled desires. Bear with me here, this is not a fairytale of happily ever after. It will take a bit of work on your part. Let’s explore it together.

Let’s start with Step 1. Letting go. What does that even mean? Am I to let go of all my dreams, hopes and desires? No. Letting go means releasing any sense of urgency or desperation for what you desire. You may have heard people say, “As soon as I stopped trying, caring, or focusing on something, it happened, effortlessly.

So, let’s keep that in mind as we go forward. Let go of the desperate need and the feeling of urgency. Try that for a moment. Just take a breath and see what it feels like to just let go of those “must have” feelings and thoughts. [pause] Good.

Now, the next step is to unlearn the past. Here’s where the real work begins. Are you up for it? Before you answer, let’s see what we’re getting ourselves into. What are you asking of me, Janniejoy?

Let me start by saying that beliefs and expectations are stronger than hopes and desires. This means that the beliefs we have about ourselves and what we actually intend, will win the day every time.

We may desire a more loving relationship, but have no intention of doing the inner work it may require. We may want better health, but are not willing to give up the foods or drinks that can help us achieve that.

Let’s see if we can strengthen our beliefs and expectations about our ability to manifest what we desire.

One of the Laws of the Universe says that it will consistently prove our beliefs to be right. If we believe we are not enough, that we are unworthy of Love and respect, the Universe will bring experiences and relationships that support that belief.

Equally, the Universe will bring us experiences and people in our lives that match a belief that we ARE lovable and worthy of respect. How we treat ourselves is how we will be treated.

Are there ways in which you dishonor yourself? [pause] Do you say “yes” when you really want to say “no”? Did you feel dishonored as a child by parents, caretakers or family members?

We can’t change the past, but we can begin to change the pattern that was set forth before we felt empowered to make our own way in the world. We can unlearn how we were dismissed or not loved as a child so that we can begin to recognize how we do this to ourselves without even realizing it.

Start to notice the small moments when you discount your own needs in favor of those of others. This can be a difficult role to change, especially if it is so engrained that others have come to expect this of us.

Only when we learn how to honor and love ourselves will we find someone worthy of our love. We attract those who are equal to how well we treat ourselves. How we treat ourselves is how we will be treated. How much we love ourselves is how much we will be loved in a relationship.

What can we do right now to show ourselves Love, kindness, and respect? Make a list. What thoughts can we entertain to support self-love? Self-love is not narcissistic or selfish or egotistical. Those shortcomings result from a much deeper insecurity.

Love and honoring oneself is how we are meant to be. We were born of Love, held by Love, whether in someone’s arms or in Nature’s heart of which you are a unique and significant part.

Rather than chip away at ourselves in the mirror, we can focus on what we love about ourselves. Our eyes, our laughter, our smarts, our resourcefulness, our resilience, our intention to be loving and helpful others.

We are so much more than what is reflected in the mirror. We know love, we know pain, we know empathy, we know what we’ve endured, and how far we’ve come. We know what lies within that is waiting to be called upon, to be recognized, to be loved, unconditionally.

And last but not least, let’s reclaim our future by being present in the present. Be happy now, not I’ll be happy when. Let’s not give away our power to some future by tossing our happiness up ahead somewhere on our path. Count blessings now. Find joy now. Make a list of what’s going right. Jot down the things you love about yourself. Be happy now.

Becoming a match to your soul mate in this creative life requires a unique recipe of letting go of urgency and desperation, unlearning our childhood past, and reclaiming the future by finding happiness in the present. Not daunting at all. Let go, and enjoy the journey.

I will leave you with a quote by the 13th century poet, Rumi, who said: “Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.”

To Giraffe or not to Giraffe

Is this pandemic causing each of us to go deeply inward to the place we truly are? Are we realizing how delicate life is? How temporary? I know many people who have come out of hiding, including me.

It took me years, well into adulthood to express publicly my psychic and channeling abilities. My fears included thoughts like, “But…what about those people who don’t approve? The skeptics? They’ll think I’m a fake. They’ll look at me weird.

“What about them? They seem to have no problem expressing who they are, whether or not you agree with them. They haven’t withered away into oblivion just because you don’t share their beliefs. And neither will you,” my Higher Self reminds me.

“You have this ability in order to help others. Those who do believe and those who are in need will find you. If you shut down this essential part of yourself and keep it hidden, whom are you helping?”

Everyone is on their own path, their own level of spiritual evolution, of believing in what they believe. And that is ok. If you base your actions on what you think others believe, you are short-changing not only yourself, but those who need your help.

That’s like a giraffe lowering its head to conform to other animals, but then not being able to reach the leaves high above to feed others or their young.

But how do I distinguish my outer-world personality from my inner-world Knowing Self? How do I reach higher?

That’s easy…and hard. It involves stopping all action, sitting still, and being–experiencing–this tiny, singular moment, where breathing happens, where sound happens, where sensing happens.

Thoughts happen, too, but they need to be tamed–not eliminated–just tamed. They need to know that you’re the one in control. Thoughts are like children. They pull you this way and that toward what they want to focus on. Thoughts pull you out of the present and into the past.

Thoughts pull you into the future where attachment happens, where hopes, dreams, and desperation, fear, and worry happen.

But, the present is just the present where You, your Higher Self, your every breath, exist now, in this tiny moment.

Ask yourself: Am I OK in this moment? The answer is almost always, Yes.

But I can’t figure out ____________.
That’s OK. Let go. The answer will come. It happens in the future.

But I feel regret about ____________.
That’s OK. That was then, unchangeable. It happened in the past.

What is the value of this moment?

This moment is where your power lies. The power to make decisions. To intuit answers. To listen to your Higher Self. To feel your next impulse of inspiration toward your goal. To expand in abundance and success. To choose to feel gratitude. To choose to feel Love.

Use this moment to stop all action, sit still, close your eyes, and sense your Higher Self or your Spirit Guides. Ask them how they would handle a certain situation. Ask your questions in this moment of stillness.

Now that they have your attention, and because you asked, they will answer. Maybe not immediately. Sometimes answers arrive within hours, sometimes days. Be open.

In this moment of stillness, you can discover your deepest self wanting to rise and be seen, so that you can share it with the world.

Click here for my guided meditation on “risking your significance.” ❤