Blog

To Purge or Splurge?

My senior citizen cat, who normally lets me sleep, decided to touch the tip of my warm nose with the tip of his cold, wet nose at 2 a.m. this morning. He didn’t even want me to get up and let him out. He just wanted to kiss me and go back to sleep. I know. Sweet, huh? Except that I could not go back to sleep. “Hello darkness, my old friend,” as Paul Simon would say. (Was that song about insomnia or depression? Either way, it was fitting.)

Nighttime is the ripe time to ponder atrocities of life on the planet and in my household. My not-so-common common-law husband of 16 years is a hoarder. Ok, that’s not exactly true. He’s a collector. No, that would indicate many of one item of value, like coins or baseball cards. No, he’s an amasser. “Amass,” according to Webster: to collect for oneself; accumulate. Bingo!

Last night we met with the landlord of a defunct bakery that had sadly gone under. Covid was the straw. The owners of the building were selling off leftover items for the bank to recoup losses. My Common-law was interested in finding (read: amassing) a stainless steel rolling cart for his latest hobby: baking.

What we ended up with instead, stuffed in the back of my Subaru, was a mish-mash of professional baking items of every size, from silicone brushes to 60 lb. bags of flour and a supersized tub of brown sugar. A lifetime supply, depending on the shelf life of the contents…or the human.

I’m only shocked that he didn’t insist on lugging home the Hobart 6000 professional mixer floor model!

Ok, to put things back–or at least back in perspective–he is a man of many hobbies and side hustles that come and go. Currently, he seems to be caught up in a virtual bake-off with his buddy, Jay, that they boast about and post on Facebook. Jay bought a propane-fired pizza oven. My guy bought a bigger one. They both make the dough from scratch. Jay made molasses cookies stuffed with a cream cheese filling made with micro-brewed stout beer. My guy made them with bourbon.

The problem is, I’ve long ago adopted a gluten-free, no sugar, low carb diet for health reasons. I have successfully overcome my cravings for all three…over and over again. Now I live with a baker. So, my Common-law is baking for how many? One.

Really? A 60 lb. bag of flour?

I’m a periodic purger, one who purges. In fact, earlier that same day, I happily got rid of items we decided we didn’t need. I turned a small cabinet into $25 cash, gave away an extra rolling pin (I had to convince him we didn’t need two), and an unused cat ladder. Aaaah. That felt good.

But, the more I purge, the more he amasses. It’s a win-lose. Too bad I love him.

The Road to Remission

Synopsis: HEALING = LOVE OF ONESELF

My guess is that we all know someone near and dear to our hearts who is suffering from a serious illness. Or you, yourself, may be in that condition. Psychologically it’s an unnerving place to be, teetering between uncertainty and hope about the outcome.

When life comes at us this way, like a train wreck, it causes us to look within and without to the cosmos for reasons. Most of us are wired to seek answers, to seek knowledge, to better the planet, to better ourselves. To heal.

Author Anita Moorjani, who battled cancer for years right into the hands of an NDE (Near Death Experience), wrote in her book, Dying To Be Me, “To cherish myself, was the key to my healing. To be me is to be love. This is the lesson that saved my life”.

Can it really be that simple? Maybe we can learn from the lessons she took from her NDE. Let’s take a look. It can’t hurt.

Some people bristle at the notion of loving oneself. It can bring up feelings of guilt and unworthiness or thoughts of ego inflation.

Self-love is not selfish. Love is who we are. Selfish is an earthly human judgment and often stems from a deeply felt insecurity. Insecurity is fear. Fear is limiting. Being Love is expansive. It dissipates fear and rises above the duality of judgment between right and wrong. It just is.

Our childhoods were filled with lessons of right and wrong, as our parents or caregivers–sans playbook on perfect parenting–did their best to instill in us societal do’s and don’ts.

Our essence of Being love slowly got whittled down into conformity to social norms. “Be this way so you don’t embarrass us.”

It can take a lifetime to unlearn some of the teachings of well-meaning parents who loved us or who, we perceive, didn’t love us enough.

And it can take years to develop a disease, which, I believe, is an indicator that we haven’t yet cleared the path back to Love of Self.

How do we get there? Am I even on the path or have I wandered into the brambles?

No matter. Wherever you are, start there. Your actions of self-love will lead you back. Try courting yourself like you’ve just fallen in Love.

  • Splurge on 5 bucks for a bouquet of fresh flowers, from you to you.
  • Draw a bubble bath, candlelit for ambiance, music for relaxation and inspiration.
  • Watch your favorite movie in your pjs.
  • Give yourself a hug, a foot and shoulder massage, a pat on the back.
  • Take a 5 min. respite, away from the needs of others, in the bathroom where solitude and privacy is “acceptable.”
  • Make decisions based on your needs first and stick to them despite feelings of guilt. Guilt is self-judgment, not self-love.
  • Make a list of things you love to look at, to do, to feel, to hear. Then seek those out.
  • Show yourself unconditional love, as you would a friend or a loved one.
  • Say, “I love you” in the mirror. This can be very powerful. Feel it, truly feel it as you say it.

You don’t have to be perfect. Perfection is a judgment which is unattainable! Allow yourself the beauty of imperfection. Love yourself unconditionally.

You’re already on The Road to Remission.

2020 Vision

The year 2020 has been a huge reset button. A year of truth-telling, shining light where there was darkness.

My sensitive nephew became my beautiful niece. My step-daughter left an oppressive and emotionally abusive relationship, my colleague went public about a festering issue at Smith College.

For me, being forced to work from home since March, gave me the bandwidth to reexamine life and come into my own.

Without the 40 minute commute each way, I had more time to give to the things I love: crafting and building my website.

I realigned with Source and filled my heart with gratitude. I produced guided meditations and visualizations to help ease fears for myself and others. This has been a time of rebirth and self-re-examination. My purpose became crystal clear:

“Use your gift of clairaudience to help others. Come out of the shadows publicly as a psychic channeler to give more readings. Release self-doubt and fear of reproach.”

There’s no more tolerance for lies and deception. We are embarking on a new decade, a new way forward. Going backward is not in the cards.

How has 2020 changed you for the better? What’s your 2020 vision for your own future? What are your unique gifts bestowed upon you to inch humanity forward?

Just Bee.

So many of us are suffering from mental anguish right now. There’s the long, seemingly endless road of the pandemic. There’s the long, seemingly endless road of the presidential election. There’s the long, seemingly endless road of battling cancer or fearing the worst when thinking about the health of our loved ones.

We tend to turn to prescription drugs like anxiety meds to help us sleep or we self-medicate with illegal or semi-illegal drugs like marijuana. The pharmaceutical companies are enjoying the surge.

It’s a vicious cycle. We take more drugs to counteract the side-effect of the drugs we’re already on, and on, and on…

When will we learn to walk again on our own without these crutches? Crutches that were meant to be temporary, but have sadly become the norm. Where’s our inner strength and fortitude to get us through difficult times? Where’s our faith?

Our perceptions and beliefs tell the story.

Today, with a paper cup and a junk mail flyer (no pun intended), I caught a bee who had gotten into our house. The bee frantically buzzed against the window, recognizing its home environment on the other side of the glass. It desperately wanted to get back to some sense of normalcy.

When I put the cup over him and slid the card underneath, his buzzing intensified. He panicked! His world had suddenly gone from bad to worse! It had shrunk to the size of a Dixie cup! Oh no! How did this happen?! Now I’m pissed! This is the end!, he must’ve thought.

What he didn’t know, what he couldn’t know was that he was headed for freedom, fresh air, and sunshine!

It’s the same with us. Our misperceptions can wreak havoc on our stress response and weaken our immune system. When circumstances are out of our control, our thoughts run wild with assumptions of doom and gloom.

The more likely scenario is that the Universe, God, the All-Knowing Creator has bigger plans. I believe that things happen for a reason. Not to test us, not to punish us. They just happen and we are changed by them, for the better, if we employ faith.

We can choose to come to terms with the uncertainty of the future, and accept what we don’t know, and trust that soon–or later–all will be well, as planned.

Take a lesson from the bee. Stop struggling. Bee-come aligned with a Higher Power who has your best interest at heart. Breathe. Stay in the present. Just Bee.

Becoming a Match to Your Soul Mate

(You can find the audio version here.)

Dear Universe, I see lovers all around me. I myself have fallen in and out of love, or what I thought was love. Where is MY soul mate? When is it my turn to meet someone that matches who I am?

You may be having these thoughts. We’ve all been there. We’ve known heartaches. We’ve had relationships fire and then fizzle out. We wonder: what am I doing wrong? Why do I keep choosing mates that I outgrow or who outgrow me?

Manifesting anything in this creative life requires a unique recipe of letting go, unlearning the past, and reclaiming the future. It sounds daunting and mystifying, doesn’t it?

But if we take it one step at a time, and begin where we are, we can create a life of fulfilled desires. Bear with me here, this is not a fairytale of happily ever after. It will take a bit of work on your part. Let’s explore it together.

Let’s start with Step 1. Letting go. What does that even mean? Am I to let go of all my dreams, hopes and desires? No. Letting go means releasing any sense of urgency or desperation for what you desire. You may have heard people say, “As soon as I stopped trying, caring, or focusing on something, it happened, effortlessly.

So, let’s keep that in mind as we go forward. Let go of the desperate need and the feeling of urgency. Try that for a moment. Just take a breath and see what it feels like to just let go of those “must have” feelings and thoughts. [pause] Good.

Now, the next step is to unlearn the past. Here’s where the real work begins. Are you up for it? Before you answer, let’s see what we’re getting ourselves into. What are you asking of me, Janniejoy?

Let me start by saying that beliefs and expectations are stronger than hopes and desires. This means that the beliefs we have about ourselves and what we actually intend, will win the day every time.

We may desire a more loving relationship, but have no intention of doing the inner work it may require. We may want better health, but are not willing to give up the foods or drinks that can help us achieve that.

Let’s see if we can strengthen our beliefs and expectations about our ability to manifest what we desire.

One of the Laws of the Universe says that it will consistently prove our beliefs to be right. If we believe we are not enough, that we are unworthy of Love and respect, the Universe will bring experiences and relationships that support that belief.

Equally, the Universe will bring us experiences and people in our lives that match a belief that we ARE lovable and worthy of respect. How we treat ourselves is how we will be treated.

Are there ways in which you dishonor yourself? [pause] Do you say “yes” when you really want to say “no”? Did you feel dishonored as a child by parents, caretakers or family members?

We can’t change the past, but we can begin to change the pattern that was set forth before we felt empowered to make our own way in the world. We can unlearn how we were dismissed or not loved as a child so that we can begin to recognize how we do this to ourselves without even realizing it.

Start to notice the small moments when you discount your own needs in favor of those of others. This can be a difficult role to change, especially if it is so engrained that others have come to expect this of us.

Only when we learn how to honor and love ourselves will we find someone worthy of our love. We attract those who are equal to how well we treat ourselves. How we treat ourselves is how we will be treated. How much we love ourselves is how much we will be loved in a relationship.

What can we do right now to show ourselves Love, kindness, and respect? Make a list. What thoughts can we entertain to support self-love? Self-love is not narcissistic or selfish or egotistical. Those shortcomings result from a much deeper insecurity.

Love and honoring oneself is how we are meant to be. We were born of Love, held by Love, whether in someone’s arms or in Nature’s heart of which you are a unique and significant part.

Rather than chip away at ourselves in the mirror, we can focus on what we love about ourselves. Our eyes, our laughter, our smarts, our resourcefulness, our resilience, our intention to be loving and helpful others.

We are so much more than what is reflected in the mirror. We know love, we know pain, we know empathy, we know what we’ve endured, and how far we’ve come. We know what lies within that is waiting to be called upon, to be recognized, to be loved, unconditionally.

And last but not least, let’s reclaim our future by being present in the present. Be happy now, not I’ll be happy when. Let’s not give away our power to some future by tossing our happiness up ahead somewhere on our path. Count blessings now. Find joy now. Make a list of what’s going right. Jot down the things you love about yourself. Be happy now.

Becoming a match to your soul mate in this creative life requires a unique recipe of letting go of urgency and desperation, unlearning our childhood past, and reclaiming the future by finding happiness in the present. Not daunting at all. Let go, and enjoy the journey.

I will leave you with a quote by the 13th century poet, Rumi, who said: “Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.”