Healing Me Softly With His Song

A local dairy farm, Maple Valley Creamery, sells ice cream cones out of a small wooden hut. Each week, they give away free cones to specific names. One week it was for anyone who shared a name with someone in The Brady Bunch. My name is Jan, so my husband and I decided to take the 40 minute drive to get my free ice cream!

I had been worried about my daughter who has been going through months of chemo. She hadn’t been feeling well of late. I decided that a ride in the countryside to get an ice cream was what I needed.

We drove along winding, tree-lined roads that follow the river, past farm fields and past the Hadley Mall to the Hadley Scoop, as the colorful hut is called. We walked up to the window. I ordered one scoop of strawberry shortcake ice cream on a gluten-free cone. They use fresh strawberries!

Behind the hut was a seating area complete with fenced in cows, goats, and sheep for petting. We found a small picnic table in the middle and got settled, licking our creamy treats. We faced the music. There was a guy singing and playing guitar for tips on a six inch riser. He sang a Chris Stapleton song I was unfamiliar with, but the ambiance he created was soothing.

I heard lyrics about Jesus and angels. My ears perked up. I waited for the refrain, as my heart opened up and my daughter slipped in.

Don’t go looking for the reasons
Don’t go asking Jesus why
We’re not meant to know the answers
They belong to the by and by.

Angels come down from the heavens
Just to help us on our way.

Tears flooded my eyes. I tried to hold them back while silently licking my ice cream. One or two escaped. I felt singled out. This song, this message, was meant for me in this moment, I thought. He was healing me softly with his song.

Unraveling Our Heritage

I recently came across a passage about Spirituality and Abundance while rereading
Anita Moorjani’s latest book, Sensitive is the New Strong. I scanned the pages and shared them with my daughter who, like me—since I was the one who raised her—struggles with allowing, and not resisting, abundance in her life and work.

Money. Just the word congers up a wad of mixed emotions. Guilt. Desire. Fear. Gratitude. We weren’t born with any innate feelings about this social construct; we were taught by example or had experiences that led us to this end as adults.

Let’s face it, we need money in our society in order to survive, in order to own shelter, in order to eat, to be well, to seek treatment for ailments. Some abandon society’s demands and choose to be homeless, to scavenge or beg on street corners. But that’s got to be a tough life, too. One that’s not for me, if I can avoid it. I’d rather struggle to make ends meet with the basics. Well, truth is, I’d rather not have to struggle.

In my experience, we reap that which we believe. If we believe we’re not lovable, we reap crappy relationships. If we believe the world is unkind and dangerous, we attract such experiences. If we believe we are not deserving of abundance for whatever reason, be it low self-esteem, a wish to be closer to God, or a belief in its “evil” nature, we attract less of it. The Universe provides by supporting our beliefs.

The issue lies, then, in changing our long-held beliefs. It’s easy to trace their origins. I just look under the rock I crawled out from while in the care of my parents. My mom, a gentle spiritual, but also troubled soul, chose poverty to be closer to God and live among the poor. This came after the divorce and just shy of completing her master’s degree. My dad, a former professor, seemed a little tight fisted around money which may be why we always seemed to have enough.

I take after my mother, being highly intuitive, sensitive, and spiritual in nature and wanting to help people. At age 16, I won a creative writing contest in Seventeen magazine for which I was awarded $30. I donated half to a non-profit children’s fund. Already I was practicing self-lessness and feelings of not deserving of abundance if others were in need.

As an adult, I still give to charity on occasion, but I have also learned that it’s ok to keep 100% of what I earn, especially when I’m helping people. In my channeling practice, I help clients by being a vessel so their Guides can convey needed messages to them. It’s a fair trade.

Channeling is my North Node, astrologically speaking, my Dharma, my calling. Many people get paid for following their calling, some make millions. I was given this gift as a means to survive in this lifetime, whether it be for my own Guidance, or to help others navigate theirs.

I continue to unravel my heritage.

What is going on??

Most people hate uncertainty, not-knowing. This explains the popularity of psychics. But even psychics, the real ones, are not given specific information about your future to pass along. If they do “invoke” such information, they are likely fakes and cashing in on your fear of the unknown or your desperate need to know.

We humans are not given specific answers from our Higher selves nor from Spirit Guides/God/Universe. We are here to learn, develop, and grow. These juicy gifts of life on Earth won’t happen if we’re provided the answers to why, how, when, who, etc. Just as in school, we’d be cheating ourselves if we were given all the answers to our future.

We come into this life with no memory from before, and no foresight into what lies ahead. It’s the journey. It’s the journey. It’s the journey. Since we have no choice but to accept this fact, we might as well relax into the not-knowing.

But with help, we can gain valuable insight into possible and probably outcomes, cause and effect, amid our free will to choose. Sometimes answers come from just sitting in silence.

If you need to bypass that part due to lack of time or inability to concentrate, I can help by accessing your Spirit Guides through my own Guides in order shed some light on some of life’s issues: conflicts at work, relationship troubles, career changes, etc.

Sometimes just having a listening ear–from someone who’s not busy watching a screen–can help to talk it out and resolve problems.

Find me on Facebook here, and let’s see if we can untangle some issues and see light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. ❤

The message: You are a diamond.

The following is a partial transcript of a reading I did for myself recently. I decided to share this portion in hopes that the message may benefit others, to be reminded that we are all diamonds.

It begins with the voice of my Spirit Guides.

Our advice is to just continue, things will pan out. Patients and practice. A new day is definitely coming. You will be a part of that.  You will be needed, you will be called upon to help in your best capacity.  Is there anything else that you wish to ask?

Uh, yeah…at the moment I’m not feeling like I’m reaching very high to give a reading to myself.  Why is that?

Are you feeling love? Are you feeling love for yourself? Are you feeling patience, patience with yourself?  Or are you kicking yourself for not being something or further along or somehow doing something wrong? You are in exactly the right place. There are no regrets to be had. Love and honor yourself right where you are.  Right. Where. You. Are. 

Feel the love for yourself that you would for a small child. Honor those feelings.  Honor everything about you, your sadness, your weakness, your strength, your excitement, your confidence, and stop kicking yourself for not being better, further along or doing something different.  You are enough as you are.  We didn’t misguide you.  You have been following our guidance.  At times it may seem that we’re going off on a tangent, but sometimes that is necessary for you to learn other skills to bring back to your path.  So don’t worry about it. 

You are exactly on the right path, exactly where you need to be.  And this will continue.  We only a advise that you pay attention to when you are not loving yourself and expecting more perhaps because your parents expected more.  They are gone, they are gone. 

You can be proud of yourself.  You can love yourself just as you are.  You are enough.  There is no need to compare yourself to others and feel that you should be more than you are.  You will be called upon when the time is ready for you to use your gifts and your skills to help others. You are loved, greatly loved.  We wish only that you feel this love for yourself and how great it is.  You are a diamond.  You are a diamond, multifaceted diamond.

We will sign off now and we wish you great love, great health, and great movement forward at your own pace.

Is covid-19 the 2nd coming?

On March 31, 2020, I wrote this in my journal:

This covid-19 virus has not even peaked yet. We have at least another four weeks of social distancing, which means businesses remain closed. This is going to be a game changer. I have to have F.A.I.T.H. and trust the Universe. (Float freely, Allow, Imagine desired outcome, Trust, Heal.)

On April 7th, I wrote this in my journal:

Yesterday, my husband was applying decal lettering on a police car in our driveway while the officer stood behind him, watching. I could see from the window that he (the officer) was not abiding by the obligatory 6 feet apart social distancing rule. I went outside and asked him politely, “Are you keeping 6 feet apart?”

He smiled with his baby face and took a couple steps back, but with the look of a teenager’s “whatever” attitude. It bothered me because he’s a first responder. He should be modeling correct practices, if not for himself then for others.

Anyway, apparently it stressed me out because I woke up this morning at 3 a.m. in a stressed panic. But I knew I had to snap out of it, so I took a couple of deep breaths, reminded myself that I’m not in control, nor can I predict the future. I tried to relax my body while I talked myself off the ledge.

Then a thought came to me: What if this virus serves as an opportunity for God/Spirit/Universe to clean house–not just Mother Nature doing a re-boot, but also God intervening to save our souls from ourselves. A second coming! Lol. What if this is “Jesus” coming back as a virus?!

It would be the perfect opportunity for walk-ins, spiritual beings who reincarnate into existing humans. Easily done if someone is feverish and out of it or in intensive care. Meanwhile, the elderly are dropping like flies. I don’t mean to be irreverent, but they had their lives and now a new dawn is coming that perhaps energetically they won’t resonate with. Maybe God is picking and choosing who gets to stay.

Maybe some with severe symptoms plead for their lives, vowing to change if He’ll let them survive. Maybe the virus is God’s way of saying, “Namaste, dammit!” I mean, we’re killing the planet, we’re killing each other, holding tight to our right to bear arms, all in the name of F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real).

I believe we are capable of loving each other and this, our only planet. We don’t have time to fuck around! It shouldn’t take a crisis for us to change.