releasing the old

When we hold onto the things, places, and people that we love for too long, we restrict our own growth and evolution. We remain grounded like a caterpillar who refuses to transform, believing she would not be safe if she lifted off the ground and was free to fly.

Our planet is in a state of transformation. We are not alone facing growth and evolution. As a global community we are experiencing a rebirth. Rebirth is messy, painful, confusing, exhausting, yet fruitful. We are in the process of bearing new fruit to be enjoyed by all. But first we must go through labor pains.

Since Covid landed on our shores, I have been navigating a personal upheaval of growth and evolution. The deep loss of a child, a move to the Midwest, early retirement, and the vast profound loss of my childhood summer home, handed down since my great-grandfather’s passing. The two cottages now had to be sold. We could no longer afford the taxes.

They held places where I sat with my grandmother and watched Perry Mason, in black and white; where I braided her long silver hair, after she let down her bun for bedtime. Where our family gathered for meals in a Sears catalogue cottage on the hill overlooking blue Crystal Lake below and Lake Michigan, appearing as a bowl of soup on the horizon.

Places in my aunt’s cottage, where mom, dad, aunts, uncles and cousins gathered on the cement patio with their clinking cocktails, while us younger ones nibbled on nuts, olives, crackers and cheese. Where, as an adult, I watched glorious sunrises reflect on the glassy lake, inspiring me to write from the soul.

Last month, the great old cottonwood tree in the center of the hill finally released one of its large lower branches to the ground, no longer able to support the weight, the circumference of which was twice the size of my waist. Where we carved love initials in the upper branches, where we climbed higher for a better view of the lake. The tree had lived a long giving life, but had to be taken down for safety reasons. It had been planted generations ago on the site of an old wooden outhouse. Good fertilizer for growth. Its demise symbolized the end of an era.

In a recent acupuncture appointment, I asked my acupuncturist to set me up with needles that would allow for letting go or something of that nature. With needles in place, she dimmed the lights and left the room. As I lay there on the heated massage table, relaxing, I heard the word, “Surrender.” And then, “There is grace in surrender.” And then, “Let yourself be lifted from the old.”

That final phrase, I slowly realized, put a positive spin on the process of letting go. It indicated that I had been burdened by the old. And, in many ways, I had been.

It is time to break out of the cocoon, and be free to fly.

Up at 3 a.m.

There’s so much unrest in the world! The pandemic and police brutality BOTH affect communities of color. It’s heartbreaking! I know that’s a grave understatement, but I’m feeling the pain for all people.

Spirit Guides respond:

The positive is that Yes! This is being exposed finally in a BIG way! Change is bumpy, disruptive of status quo and routine. There is national outrage more than ever. Good! There should be. Let this play out without fear. Change is difficult and slow to move. It requires pandemics, crises, “earthquakes” to move mountains.

There will be lives lost, but we will emerge fresh, stronger, changed as a society. The final push! T will show his true colors in a crisis, both with the pandemic and with riots and protesters. He already has. Biden will prevail in November because the world will be ready. It can only withstand so much darkness before demanding Light. Biden is the lesser of two evils and people will want and are ripe for change and leadership they can get behind and feel safe with. T has shown the opposite which has helped fuel this eruption and his own demise, ironically.

Roll with the rattle of change. It always brings a brighter, better outcome. Love is the common denominator. Love is the larger force in the world; we just don’t hear about it on the news. We hear about the less than 1% who are lost in hate–of themselves first and ultimately of others.

“Only in the darkness can you see the stars.” ~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

The Joy of Conflict?

“Conflict is the beginning of consciousness.” ~M. Esther Harding

Conflict. It’s something most of us shy away from. After all, we paid our dues as teenagers, didn’t we? Oh. Maybe that was just me. But, now as independent adults, we can choose to avoid it, like choosing whether or not to make the bed or do our chores.

What’s the point of conflict anyway? Shouldn’t we avoid it…even when it’s unavoidable? Make cookies, not war…and that sort of thing? Don’t we want world peace starting with the person in the mirror? I’m conflicted about conflict. When given the choice between fight or flight, the latter seems more enjoyable, especially if I’m headed to a tropical island! 

Conflict, though, can be a positive thing, an opportunity. An opportunity for growth and change. Most of us resist change too, happily strolling along until life threatens to create so much conflict or major crises that we are forced to change. Why not nip it in the bud and embrace it?

Hey, Change! I see you comin.’ You’re cleverly disguised as Conflict. Ha! You’re not foolin’ me! And I’m not afraid of you…mostly. Yeah. Watch me bend and let you roll off my back. And if you come back with more, I’ll do the same. So there!

Conflict shouldn’t be about “fight or flight.” It should be about resist or grow, and asking ourselves: What am I seeing about myself in this conflict? What is trying to emerge in me? How am I participating? Where am I needing to grow? Where am I falling short? 

Today I will search for the gap within myself and do my best to close it. I will see Conflict for what it is: an opportunity for me to discover my best self.

Oh, Conflict! Who knew a silver lining was part of your clever disguise, you rascal!

This was adapted from my older blog, Words of Wisdom.